Time for an update

My friend Susan has been a motivating goad lately. She has explained that getting financial aid is dependant more on available funds than on deadlines. And that if I can't get into classes in January, I should take what classes I need anyway, using the unemployment waiver available to me and try again in the summer or fall. Wise advice, I think.

I have an appointment at FA on Thursday, Dec 2 at 3 PM.

In the mean time, here's an article that I found refreshing.

College President, 61, Again a Freshman
Nov 28, 6:19 PM (ET)

ANNAPOLIS, Md. (AP) - In his first weeks as a freshman at St. John's College, Roger "Rusty" Martin missed two days of crew practice. He feared the coach might cut him from the team, but he had legitimate reasons: CT scans and a checkup with his oncologist.

The 61-year-old was four years removed from a battle with melanoma that nearly killed him.

Martin, the president of Randolph-Macon College in Ashland, Va., is the oldest freshman at St. John's - by four decades. Some on the faculty are young enough to have been his students back when he was a history professor.

Martin went back to school this year because he wanted to study the freshman experience in a way that would be impossible from the president's office. So he took a semester-long sabbatical from the top of the academic food chain to dwell at the bottom.

Martin didn't hide his identity from the students and faculty at St. John's. He and college administrators agreed that Martin would attend classes and events but would live off campus, with his wife and dog. He would take notes in class, but he wouldn't speak.

Martin, a lifelong educator trained to lecture, worried he might upset the balance of St. John's painstakingly egalitarian seminars if he spoke.

"He wanted to see the freshmen up close, and kind of be in the milieu, and see what effect reading and studying those things has on the way they talk with each other and the way they think about life," St. John's Dean Harvey Flaumenhaft said.

Thus far, Martin said he has found his fellow freshmen to be strikingly focused, keen to study, averse to drugs, loyal to their parents and quite serious about politics and faith.

And he seems to fit in well with other students.

The oldest freshman sits and chats about crew practice with fellow rowers until class starts. Then, he sits and listens.

"He pretty much immediately fit in," said David Miranda, 19, a St. John's freshman who rowed with Martin. "Sometimes we'd talk about Plato, and sometimes we'd just talk about things that are going on day to day."

*preen*

This morning I dropped off the letter of recommendation from Susan. I bless her on a daily basis. She wrote up a glowing recommendation, stressing my analytical and writing skills.
*preen*
I know I'm going to be confronting my ignorance head on in college. I suspect the scope of my ignorance is going to intimidate me somewhat, but I'm not going to let it discourage me. I've spent too many years demanding information instead of shutting up and being a good little ignorant girl.

Knowledge doesn't necessarily want to be free, but it wants to be shared, I think.

An act of bravery

If bravery is action in the face of fear, than I made an act of bravery today. I have no clue if I will be able to get financial aid for college. But I paid my $35, filled out an application, attached my essay and submitted it. I'm scared that there will be no funds for me. Or that by earning $22K in 2003, I made too much money to qualify.

I have to have money to live on, as well as pay for college. Loans and grants, loans and grants. Pell grant, where are you when I need you?

For the last 30 years I have paid taxes, defended my country for nine of them. I truly hope there's money for this odyessy.

Performance-Based Admission

I went back up to RIC to apply for admission today. Filled out the application, paid my $35 fee, turned in my essay, got a checklist of things required for PBA students. Transcripts--High School: Called my alma mater and requested they send it to RIC. CCRI, will do Monday, going to go down and deliver it by hand. Letter of recommendation from "employer or church member" stating that I am ready to begin a college program.

My FAFSA application (Financial aid thingie) is on file with RIC already. Huzzah! No need to worry about that. Man, I am glad I specified that it go to them when I filled it out earlier this year.

Once all that is done, I'll be scheduled for an admission interview. I'm going to do it this time, folks.

Rhode Island College Entrance Essay
Nov 12, 2004

If I could meet any historic figure, I'd like to meet Jane Verin, the woman who was beaten by her husband in order to keep her from attending meetings with Roger Williams.

It may seem that my reason is pragmatic in nature. I'm researching her story to write a book. However, the reasons behind writing the book are not so concretely pragmatic. Women's voices are absent or silent in history. I'm of the opinion that this is because women have been relegated to secondary roles in western culture. We cannot know what has been lost with the death of each illiterate woman. I'd like to sing their songs, but the melody and the words are silent.

Some of the questions I would ask her include:

How did you come to Providence? What prompted you to leave Salem? Why did you leave Salisbury to come to Massachusetts Bay Colony?

How did you keep warm in winter? Did you ever learn to read and write? How does your Christianity manifest in your day-to-day life? Did Joshua hit you regularly? Do you blame the other men in Providence for instigating Joshua to beat you?

Roger Williams said you were willing to go with Joshua--is this true? Why? Do you feel that God ordained that he should hit you to make you submit to his will?

What happened that day when he nearly beat you to death? Who helped you? What about your mother? Did she know that you were being beaten? Did she cry out against it?

How do you feel about the town voting to disenfranchise Joshua? Was it too harsh? Was it too lenient?

Do you feel that you have the right to follow your conscience regardless of your husband's beliefs?

What was Joshua like? Was he as young and boisterous as Roger Williams said?

Did you know Ann Hutchinson? Was she your friend? Did you talk about religion? Did you agree with her?

Finally, I'd ask what happened to her after she was "haled in ropes to Salem". Did she die in prison? Why did she disappear from all records after being jailed for not attending worship services?


© E. Howe
All rights reserved. Do not copy this essay for your own collegiate use. To do so is academic dishonesty.

Back in communication

Since Bush is still in power (I'm reluctant to say that the election was hijacked) I've made some pretty big decisions. I'm going back to school, this time for pre-law. I'll prolly get my 4 year degree in English. This is a change from my previous decision to get a degree in History. My friend Susan recommends that I go with what I'm best at, and get the high grades in something I know already. That will make admission into a law school a bit easier.

I'm going to be turning 45 on the 17th. I'd like to take my Bar exams by the time I'm 55. I'm going to be using this blog to document my journey.

I've decided to go to Rhode Island College. It's less than 5 miles from my house, I already have residency in this state, and it's reasonably priced, tuition wise. I'm going to be applying for loans, grants and scholarships. I'm not above begging.

These next 10 years are going to be lean. Come the end of my Bachelor's degree, I'm going to have to apply to another University to study law.

My goal is to practice Constitutional law.

The Patriot Act scares me. I'm seeing preludes to fascism. I don't like that Evangelical Christians, who do not represent the majority of Democratic Christians are imposing their religious beliefs on the rest of us.

Wish me luck.
AW.

It hurts. The seam aches
in cold and baby,
it's cold outside right now.

It tends to pucker
sometimes goes white
against the pale pink of skin.

'No one is really white'
says my artist friend
but this scar is pretty close.

In warmer weather
I hardly notice it.
It blends into the tip
of my middle finger
on my right hand
a pale ridge
slightly shiny
and only is noticed
if I rub it hard with my thumb.
© E. Howe
Jan 25, 2004

"Fee-Fie-Foe-Fum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman!
Be he alive, or be he dead,
I'll grind his bones
To make my bread!"

The war stomps in
on large booted feet
sits at the table
and eats the bread
made of the bones
of our families.

And when the bread is gone,
a giant's hand
reaches down to harvest
more men
for bones
for bread.

Won't somebody steal
his goose that lays golden eggs?
Won't someone empty
the bags of gold he counts?
Won't somebody silence the harp
that sings him to sleep?

Oh, for a handful
of magic beans
to climb into that
elevated realm
of the giant
that eats the bones
of honest men
for bread.

©E. Howe Nov 21, 2003

For Dylan, regarding "Glass Onion";

No, it's not a piece of crap.
I haven't seen what else you've done,
this is new,
this is fresh.

Of course, all poems are better next time.

Who was it,
said:
'poems are never completed
only abandoned'
?
©E. Howe Nov 21, 2003

For V. who only has flying dreams when he goes to bed wearing a girl's bedtime clothing:

I envy you your
flying dreams
you seem to rise above
be exempt from
not only the law
of gravity
but your gravitas
sheilds you from
most hostile projections.

Was the man that groped you
in flight
flying as well?

or did his hands
carpe diem
as you glided past?

was he seeking to hold you back
or be pulled along
in your pink lace wake?

I go to bed in my skin
and sometimes
sweetpants and socks

I have not dreamed of flying
in far too long.

Can I borrow a negligee?

©E. Howe Nov 18, 2003